I can’t believe this is the last day of February.

This month went quick.  It’s funny how relative time is.  Speaking of relative – I did not blog about my relatives every day for NaBloPoMo.  I did blog every day except the one night my nap became “sleep” instead.  My blog has become a flower to me. I want to see it grow into something beautiful.  I know the only way that can happen is if I attend to it regularly.  I will not be signing up for NaBloPoMo in March.  If I had more time to devote to it, I probably would.  I do plan on blogging more and working on some personal matters.

Maybe in March I’ll figure out how to actually pin things?  Bye, February.  Hello, March!

Today started out kind of a lazy day.  In the afternoon, we went for a walk to the local pizza place.  The food was great!  Afterwards, we walked over to the playground so the kids could play.  I love living in a town that I can walk to places like the library, pizza place, and playground.  It’s very similar to where I grew up in that aspect.  It’s not really a small town though. It just has a small central area with all the things I love.  I think that when you walk you see things that you would probably overlook if you were driving.  As we walked out of the pizza place, there was a couple across the street sitting on a park bench about to embrace in a kiss.  It was really beautiful.

It was nice being able to spend time together as a family.  My husband has been working a lot so we’ve hardly even spent quality time together.  Today was just what I needed.

Blogging has made me realize just how scattered I am.  I had a clue before but it’s very obvious now.

I have 10 different draft posts but keep thinking of something else before I publish them.  I think it’s because I am overambitious.  I would love to know everything about everything.  A few months ago, I was hoping to learn German and one day move to Germany.  It is still my dream to move there one day or at least visit.  There are only so many hours in a day.

If I had a choice of more money or more time, I would definitely pick more time.  All the things I want in life don’t cost an insane amount of money but require more time than I have.  Since I don’t have the option of more time in a day, I give a little here and there to each of my goals.  By the end of the day, sometimes I just feel scattered.

I was walking down the grocery store aisles on Thursday and the strangest thing happened.  About once a week I walk down the grocery store aisles and this has never happened!  It all started when I saw a box of Krave cereal.  Apparently, Krave cereal is a new chocolate cereal by Kellogg’s.  I didn’t think oh I want to buy that or I wonder what it tastes like.  Instead I though what cool typography!  The letters spelling out Krave look like melted chocolate.  I thought that was brilliant of them, really brilliant.

I have been looking at a lot of typography online.  I think this must just be a strange side effect.

It’s almost 3 a.m.  I decided I was going to close my eyes for a few minutes and then do my post and some other things.  I work up about an hour or two ago!  I opened my eyes, looked at my phone and jumped out of bed.  I decided a post at 3 a.m. was better than one not at all.  Earlier this evening I decided that I was going to keep my computer off all day Saturday until I have to work at night.  Maybe we will be taking a trip to the library, park or someplace fun!

Today I was at the store checking out the marked down oddities.  I saw a blue tin of cookies.  The emotions that I felt hit me like a ton of bricks.  My eyes immediately began to fill with tears.  I picked the tin up and it was the same kind of cookies my grandmother always had when we came over.  I have never seen the cookies in the store before. She used to leave them on top of the refrigerator.  We would always ask for some of the cookies when we came over.  The last time I had one of those cookies was about a month before she passed away.  That was the last time I saw her alive.

Right now, the tin of cookies I got from the store is sitting on top of my refrigerator.  It may sound odd but I don’t have the strength to open them right now.  I know I will cry.  I already know what they look like and taste like but to me they are more than just cookies.  I’ll wait until the weekend when I can share them with my kids and tell them how amazing she was.

A few weeks ago there was a survey that said a certain percentage of moms hide in the bathroom.  When I read about it, I was in disbelief because I thought I was the only mom that did that.  At any moment in time, there are hundreds maybe thousands of us hiding out in the bathroom.  My time hiding out is usually very short.  I make a few faces at myself and take a deep breath.  I’m a proud member of the bathroom club!  After talking to a few other moms we each have our own special hiding place.

I’m a firm believer of leaving a room even for a second and walking back in with a new perspective.  I’m glad that so many of us moms are recognizing that we need that moment and that we take it — no matter where the hiding place is.

I hate to admit this but I am actually glad Valentine’s Day is almost over!  My husband and I aren’t in the best place right now so there’s no love googly eyes between us.  We went out to dinner with our kids tonight.  I am a self-confessed people watcher.  I made some observations about the tables around me.

Table 1:  Young couple obviously crazy about each other.  They were touchy, smiley and happy.  I guess they were probably almost 20 years old.  They looked like they were in love or lust.  I was their age 14 years ago.  It feels like 14 years ago.

Table 2:  Three generations of a family sitting together taking pictures of each other with a lot of talking and kids smiling.  It made me think of the last time my whole family was together like that at my grandparent’s wedding anniversary party.

Table 3:  Woman with two young kids.  They were just eating and the kids were quiet.  I wondered if maybe she was a single mom taking her kids out for Valentine’s Day.  She chatted with me about my son for a few moments and her kids seemed as silly as mine.  I wondered if one day I would be sitting in a restaurant with my kids, who I adore, single.

I am curious though what people would have thought about my husband, kids and I.  Maybe they would think, did that woman just let her kids have soda?  Yes, I did and it was just one little sip.  Perhaps they would analyze the way my husband and I interact or don’t interact. I wonder.